How To Live Unintentionally

As I work towards approaching my days with greater intention, I have to examine what it is that inhibits me from doing so.  Some days I feel invigorated and I greet the day with a great sense of purpose, a "can do" attitude, and the energy to make it all happen.  The best part about these days is that I feel more peaceful, I am more positive in my interactions with others, and I am able to handle bumps in my day with more grace.  Some days I find it hard to get anything accomplished and I indulge myself in activities and behavior that are counterproductive.  The worst thing about these days is not the outer chaos around me (though I am not a fan of having a messy house, dropping the proverbial ball on any number of commitments, running late, etc.), but rather the resulting inner chaos that seems to go hand in hand with the outer unrest.  It is these days when I have very little patience and I am more apt to take it out on the people around me - especially the kids.  Sure, everyone needs a day off now and then and I don't think that every day needs to be a veritable bastion of productivity.  However, I haven't gotten myself to where I am now by just taking the occasional mental health day.

So upon reflection, I have identified what I think are the four things that I do - sometimes on their own and sometimes together - that stop me from enjoying those great days more often.  This is how I live unintentionally.

1. Sleeping in
For me this means skipping my morning workout - something that I was very good about not doing until the last few weeks - and staying in bed until I have to get up to get the kids moving for school (with little to no time to spare).  It may also mean hitting snooze on my alarm repeatedly.  Often it means doing both of these things.  Not only do I feel better and more energized after a workout, but I know that the kids and I all have a better start to the day when we have had the time - because we are up earlier - to move slowly in the morning and, quite honestly, putz around doing a bit of nothing.

2.  Reading during the day
I absolutely love to read!  I enjoy reading books that teach and energize me.  I enjoy reading about different times and places.  I enjoy reading books that show me a slice of someone else's life.  And I admit to enjoying the occasional fluff book with no redeeming qualities other than its pure escapism and entertainment value.  It is usually this last category of books that gets me into trouble.  I can easily get sucked into a compelling story and all of a sudden I find that my day is gone.  Either that, or I stay up ridiculously late finishing up a book because I just have to know how it ends.

3. Spending time online
As Rachel over at Small Notebook discussed so ably in a recent post, it is easy to find ourselves in inspiration overload and I certainly have the need to protect my time from too many good ideas.  I find myself cruising the blogosphere and reading about all sorts of great things that I'd like to do - ideas about parenting, cool places to go, ideas about gardening, interesting activities, beautiful crafts to make, and more...oh so much more!  When I spend way more time planning great things to do rather than actually doing them, that is a problem.  Rachel has followed up her discussion about inspiration overload with a post about breaking up with old hobbies - it is well worth the read and I, for one, have some breaking up to do.

4. Procrastinating
Need I say more?

Numbers one, two, and three on this list can be great things.  Sleeping in occasionally is not only a treat, it is an important way to help me get much needed rest that often is lacking as the parent of young children.  Reading is tremendously enjoyable and is the primary way that I treat myself to something just for me (something that is important for everyone and absolutely necessary, I think, for anyone who spends most of their time taking care of the needs of other people).  Connecting with others through email, staying on top of world events, and finding inspiration in the blogosphere absolutely enhances my life.  But I find - for me - that these things are only good in moderation and I can have a hard time keeping myself in check.

As for number four on the list - this one is the most troublesome and often can be found skipping hand in hand with my other time wasters.  Sometimes I procrastinate because if I can't do something perfectly I don't want to do it at all.  Sometimes I procrastinate because I would simply rather do something else.  But procrastination really drags me down when it is a result of having so much to do that I don't know where to begin and I feel overwhelmed by the day ahead.  If I allow me to psych myself out, then I just end up making the situation worse by putting off until later what I should be doing right now.  For example - this week is a particularly busy one with a variety of commitments (more than usual) around here.  Today I started the day knowing that I had a lot that needed to be accomplished.  So how did I spend my morning?  Feeling overwhelmed, floating around the house getting a few small things done here and there, flipping through a book, and sitting like a lump in front of the computer in my pajamas.  Sure, I rallied eventually and got a lot done during the second half of the day.  But still, I could have accomplished more and I would have felt better about my day had I just taken baby steps this morning.

For now I'm going to sit with these four things and see where this awareness takes me.  There will certainly be more to share in the coming months.  In the meantime, what are your time wasters and how do you keep yourself on track during the day?


"The perfect is the enemy of the good."  ~Voltaire

The Cast of Characters

I'd like to take a moment to introduce my family - they are my inspiration for making the changes that I am sharing in this space.

First is Running Man, my husband and partner of 11 years.  We met in college at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, Virginia and in most ways we complement each other quite well.  The fact that he is a great planner, very organized, and most certainly Type A means that my more fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants approach to life and home management can be stressful.  Luckily for both of us, there are elements of this that make me nuts, too, and I'm committed to making some changes - for me - that I believe will benefit our entire family.  In his spare time, Running Man is training for his first IronMan triathlon.  He's nuts, but I love - and am very proud of - him!

Our oldest child is Enthusiastic Explorer Boy (E2B), who is seven and our only son.  He is an avid life learner who continually reminds me of how much fun it is to explore and learn about, well, everything.  Whether he's climbing a tree or reading his way through a series of books, he gives it his all.

Next is our oldest daughter, Princess Wonder.  At the magical age of five, she is vibrant and creative and has a fabulously bohemian sense of style.  When she takes in everything around her she sees magic and wonder and a hidden world of fairies.

Last, but not least, is our youngest daughter, Miss Intrepid.  At the tender age of three, she has a BIG personality in a little body and knows exactly what she wants.  She is a fearless participant in this adventure of life and constantly keeps me on my toes.

Princess Wonder, Running Man with Miss Intrepid, and Enthusiastic Explorer Boy pose for a windy photo after Running Man finished his 3rd marathon in March 2011.  I can be found where I usually am in pictures - behind the camera!

When I asked Running Man what he thought about the monikers that I would be using for our family on the blog he enthusiastically weighed in and then asked me what my "name" would be.  Brittany, I told him.  Hmmm, a bit boring perhaps, but there it is.


"When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses."  ~Dr. Joyce Brothers

Thrift Share Giveaway and Project Simplify Hot Spot #3

I'm excited to start off the week by planning how I will attack hot spot #3 in the Project Simplify challenge.  This week, along with other Simple Mom readers, I will be focusing on organizing and cleaning out the kids' belongings...toys, clothes, the whole nine yards.  Here's the tricky part, I will be doing it with their assistance as much as possible.

And lucky me was the big winner this past week over at Simple Mom.  Everyone who links up to Tsh's Project Simplify results post with before and after pictures for that week's hot spot is automatically entered in a fabulous giveaway.  I've won a combo pack of organizational tools from Jennifer at I Heart Organizing and I look forward to sharing more details with you soon.

Congratulations to The Joyful Thrifter at Joyful Treasure Hunting and Gina over at Lime Kiln for winning last week's Thrift Share Pyrex giveaway!  They will be receiving the Shenandoah casserole dish and divided snowflake dish respectively.  My little ones were quite enthusiastic about being able to draw the winners from the ice bucket in our hotel and I know that they'll be thrilled to help with round two.

In keeping with my theme of loving to thrift, but also trying to purge things from around the house, I will be hosting another Thrift Share giveaway this week.  Without further delay, here are the thrifted goodies awaiting a new home...vintage paper games "for travel & leisure" made in 1974 by the Minnesota Mining & Manufacturing Company (more commonly known as 3M).  All but one of the games appear to be unopened, and the one game that is open appears to have been unused.  Each game is for two players and promises to be:

• Quick & easy to play.
• Stimulating for teens through adults.
• Fun & challenging.

And check out those graphics - aren't they a hoot?  These would make funky discussion pieces on your coffee table, great raw material for altered art, or fun to actually play.

Hex, Naval Battle, and Tic Tac Toe

Thorns, Snare, and Plasm

Check out the combined household income levels on this business reply card (not to be returned after January 1, 1975).

If you would like to be entered into the drawing for these vintage paper games, please leave a comment on this post by Friday night at midnight EDT.  I will draw and notify two winners - one for each lot - on Saturday.  I'm linking up to Apron Thrift Girl's Thrift Share Monday - stop on by to see what thrifted treasures have been found this past week.


"Whatever we possess becomes of double value when we have the opportunity of sharing it with others."  ~Jean-Nicolas Bouilly

Happy Vernal Equinox + Spring Cleaning

With the first day of spring now upon us, I can officially call my continued purging of all manner of stuff from around my home spring cleaning.  I recently read Dave Bruno's "The 100 Thing Challenge" and it really helped me to think about some of the things that I had been holding onto in a different way.  I'll post another time with more about the book and what I found to be helpful, but I wanted to go ahead and share a couple of those hard-for-me-to-let-go items with you now.

Back in the late 1990s my parents gifted my brother and I each with a set of our very own golf clubs.  At that time I didn't know how to play golf, so I took a lesson and was happy to hack my way through 18 holes with my husband - who was then my fiance - or with my family (I can remember one time that the five of us were on three separate fairways even though we were playing the same hole...good times!).  If I'm honest with myself, I can count on one hand the number of times I've played golf in the last 11 years.  I haven't played even once since having children.  I don't have any burning desire to go out and play golf.  I don't know that I'll ever even play again.  So why have I been I holding onto them?  I'm not entirely sure.  The more I thought about these clubs, the more it became clear to me that there was a much better use for them than just sitting around in my garage.  Just because I had the space to store them didn't mean that I should continue to do so.  Well, I'm happy to report that this week my golf clubs made their way to a new home - I donated them to First Tee, an organization whose mission is to "impact the lives of young people by providing learning facilities and educational programs that promote character development and life-enhancing values through the game of golf."  A very good place for them to be, indeed!

If ever I'd like to play a round of golf again, I'm sure that I can find someone to lend me clubs for the day or I can rent them - I really don't need my own.  

The next item was harder to let go.  In my head, I'm an acoustic guitar player.  In real life, not so much.  For years I desperately wanted a guitar so that I could learn to play and nearly a decade ago my sweet husband bought me one to help make that dream come true.  I took lessons and even got to the point that I could play a simple song or two.  Fast forward almost 10 years to the here and now.  My lovely guitar sits in my house where it has not been played for most of that time.  I couldn't play a simple song now even if something important was riding on my ability to do so.  Unlike the golf clubs, I still have a desire to play the guitar and I think that I might pick it up again someday.  Might...not will.  Yes, I would still like to play, but there are a lot of things that I would like to do and there are many of those things that I am more likely to do in the near future.  So after debating with myself on this, I decided that - like the golf clubs - someone else could be getting use out of the guitar right now.  So on Friday this guitar and its accessories made their way to a new home with the YMCA music program.

If the time comes that I'm ready to try playing again, something that I know will be years down the road (if at all), then I can evaluate if my interest is serious enough at that time to buy another guitar.  And hey, I can always find one second hand!

On an entirely different note, I'm sure that many of you heard the news that last night would boast a "supermoon" during which time the occurrence of the full moon coincided with the lunar perigee (the night during which the moon is closest to the Earth and occurs once every 18 years).  We just happened to be at the beach for the weekend to cheer on my husband while he ran a marathon, so we were fortunate enough to see the lunar perigee over the ocean.  What an incredible experience!

As the moon was rising around 7:30pm EDT.

Just a short time later around 7:45pm EDT.

The moon, no longer looking reddish, reflecting on the ocean around 9pm EDT.

The waves were quite large this morning after last night's supermoon.

I hope that everyone had a magical weekend and I look forward to joining you for another week of Project Simplify with Simple Mom!

"There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."  ~George Carlin

Project Simplify - Week 2 Results

Today marks the end of the second week of Simple Mom's Project Simplify - this week's hot spot has been paper clutter.  I was excited to learn about this week's focus because I am highly challenged by paper clutter.  Between mail (mostly unsolicited "junk"), school papers, and the lovingly - and voluminously - created artwork of three young children, I seem to be surrounded by paper.  Tsh suggested tackling books while dealing with paper clutter, but books in this house will require a week of their own so I'm planning to make it my own personal hot spot after the five weeks of Project Simplify are over.

Overall I would only give myself a 4 or 5 on a scale of 10 for my work on paper clutter this week.  Part of it is that I didn't have - or create - enough time this week to attack all of the paper piles in the house.  Another part of it is that I physically can't get to some of it - in particular the stash of nostalgic paper clutter that I have set aside to potentially scrapbook (more on this when I get to #8 on my 2011 goals list, getting my craft room in order).  Because I have issues with paper in many areas of the house, I decided to focus primarily on the most visual, and certainly a significant, problem area...the office.  Or more specifically, my half of the office desk.  Okay, perhaps my paper has the tendency to take over more than half the desk.

Here is the before picture of my desk at the beginning of the week.  As you can see, I don't do a good job of sticking to a "file, don't pile" regimen.

Before: my less-than-organized desktop.

But wait, there's more!  Check out some of the paper clutter hot spots in my kitchen - the refrigerator and the door leading out to the garage.

Before: from homework storage to reminder notices to the children's artwork, a lot of paper ends up on our refrigerator.

Before: the garage door is sporting unusually low clutter volume in this "before" picture, but it is certainly cluttered enough.

Here's a peek at my work space after moving all of my paper clutter into a single big box to start with.  I liked the idea of holding a movie marathon with films that don't require great concentration - they provided the right amount of distraction when I needed it - while sorting through my paper horde.

More paper than I know what to do with?  Check!
A method of sorting to help pare down my paper clutter?  Check!
Remote control to keep those movies rolling?  Check!

One thing that I was glad to cross off of my perpetual to do list this week, and something that I had written on my add-to-2011-goals list just days before Tsh suggested it in her post, was getting registered on the DMA's do not mail list for catalogs, magazines, and other solicitations.  I also registered to stop getting pre-approved credit solicitations here.  Although this would have been a great place to start some time ago, my method of dealing with junk mail was to call each sender individually and ask to be removed from their distribution list.  As with many of my good intentions around the house, I have the tendency to set this mail aside to deal with it later only to find myself with a box full of junk mail awaiting my attention.  I feel very hopeful that joining the do not mail list/opting out of prescreened credit offers will eventually mean that there are fewer solicitations to deal with in this way.

Without further ado, here are my "after" pictures.

Wait!  Is that a desktop I see?

So nice to be able to open the fridge without the fear of cascading papers.

I got rid of the papers behind papers that tended to build up on this door.

One thing that I have always done with certain reference papers (group rosters, gym schedules, etc.) is to tape them to the inside of a cabinet in my kitchen.  If I ever need to access the information I can do so with a quick peek behind a closed door.  I realized that I still had this type of reference material on my refrigerator, so I decided to build upon a good thing and I moved some of the class schedules for my children from the refrigerator to the cabinet door.  My goal is to reserve real estate on my fridge for homework, progress trackers (i.e. piano practice sheets), and reminders for upcoming activities.

I find it helpful to be able to access phone numbers and other information that I commonly refer to quickly without needing to pull something out of a file or look it up on the computer.  As a bonus, I don't have to fight piles on the refrigerator to find them any more.

Although there is still much work to be done to conquer and maintain control over paper clutter in my home, this week helped me get off to a great start and I'm linking up to the hot spot #2 results post over at Simple Mom.  What helps you stay on top of the flow of paper into and out of your house?

**As a reminder, the Pyrex giveaway ends today, so please be sure to leave a comment by midnight tonight on Monday's post if you'd like to be entered to win.  I'll be randomly drawing the names of, and contacting, two winners on Saturday.


"The opposite of simplicity, as I understand it, is not complexity but clutter."  ~Scott Russell Sanders

Purging With a Purpose - What to do with all that stuff?

There are many, many reasons to divest my household of stuff, but the one that comes to mind today is that if I'm not using something that is in my home, then nobody is using it and someone could be.  So when I am purging, I want to move things along to a place where they have the best chance of getting used.  Here are a few categories of items that I routinely purge and what I do with them along with the places that I most often share my former belongings with:

Kid's clothing, books, and toys:
As I mentioned in a previous post, virtually all of my children's clothing comes from second hand sources - hand me downs from neighbors with older kids, thrift stores, yard sales, and consignment shops.  When my oldest daughter grows out of her clothes, I launder them and store them in boxes labeled by size for my youngest daughter.  When my youngest daughter outgrows them, I pass them along to a niece who is about a year and a half younger.  When my oldest grows out of his clothes, I pass them along to a neighbor whose son is about the same age, but smaller, than my son.  By the time their clothes make it to my kids, they have often been worn by multiple children and it is great to know that there is still life in them and that they will continue to get use.

As I mentioned in yet another post, I love books and they can be found in every room of our house.  We have a lot of books (many of them thrifted) - too many books, really - and I have been steadily purging them for about six months to get the number down to a more manageable level.  My oldest child is only seven, so most of the children's books that I have are appropriate for the early elementary or preschool crowd.  Some books I pass along to friends and family members, but I give many of them to the preschool that my youngest child attends for the small library they have in each classroom.  As anyone who has young children can attest to, preschoolers tend to love their books to pieces, so there is almost always a need for new-to-them books.

I do more of the same with toys and games - some go to friends and family and most of the rest are donated to the preschool.  A local preschool is a great recipient for other items that might otherwise just end up in the trash.  Now I am certainly not advocating giving something that should go in the trash to anyone, but I do recommend thinking more creatively about how items might be used.  Little toys and small items that aren't good candidates for a thrift store (what I refer to as the effluvia of childhood - costume jewelry, cars, toys that come with kid's meals at fast food restaurants, plastic goodies given away at parties, etc.) may be just right for the "prize" box in a preschool classroom.  Small odds and ends from your personal crafting supplies - along with household items like toilet paper rolls and egg cartons that are otherwise destined for recycling - may be perfect for preschool crafts.  I try to make throwing something in the trash an absolute last resort.  The danger here is that I'll hold onto something too long because someone, somewhere might be able to use it, but I've gotten better about moving things out quickly.

Books:
While I have a lot of children's books in my home, I certainly have a plethora of books for adults as well.  In the last six months I have given books to friends, donated them to my church library, bundled them for sale in a silent auction, dropped them off at the local library for their annual fundraising book sale, and donated them to thrift stores.  Another place that can sometimes use books are organizations that provide temporary shelter to the homeless or to women and children fleeing domestic violence.

People I know:
My personal preference is to give things looking for a new home to friends and family.  If I have something that a friend needs or would like, then I get satisfaction in sharing those things with them instead of donating them to a thrift where they might or might not be sold.  Eventually, things that are not sold at most thrift stores end up in the landfill, though many thrifts are quite creative in how they manage inventory before it gets to that point.  My most tried and true method of making offers to friends is via Facebook...I simply post what is looking for a new home in my status and I often find a taker.


Non-profits with specific needs:
If I know of an organization that has specific needs that I can help with, then I prefer to donate items there where I can feel confident that they will get used (or at least they have a high likelihood of being used) versus donating them to a thrift where they may or may not be sold.  For example, we had a number of pet items that we weren't using for our dog - such as a specialized collar meant to help prevent chewing after surgery on her tail but that she managed to find a way to get around - that we donated to B.A.R.K, a local rescue organization.  Many non-profits keep a wish list of items on their websites and you might be surprised how many needs you can fulfill by donating things that are sitting around unused in your house.


Free section at the dump:
Periodically I end up with things that are useable, but are not likely to find a new home via donation to a thrift store.  If I have something like this - an example would be left over building materials from home improvement projects - then I will take it to the "Too Good to Throw Away" section at the county dump.    Items in this little covered area are free to anyone who would like to take them.


Freecycle:
I do use Freecycle periodically, but mostly for items that I don't feel will find a home elsewhere.  Unlike the building materials that might end up at the free section at the dump, these are usually household items.  Examples of what I have Freecycled in the past include electronic items that are compromised in some way but that someone with more technical know how than I can fix (i.e. a video camera, a wireless router, and a video baby monitor).  By using Freecycle for these items I can be completely upfront about what the problem is and if someone feels they can fix or otherwise use the item then they can speak up for it.


Thrift Stores and Sales to Benefit Non-profits:
While I do try to find specific recipients of my purged items whenever I can, I donate a large portion of the stuff that comes out of my house to thrift stores or to yard/garage sales being held to benefit non-profit organizations.  An added bonus of donating items to thrift stores is that their sale helps to raise money for a variety of great community organizations.

As you purge things from your home, what do you do with them?


"The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less."  ~Socrates

2011 Goals Update #1

Last week I shared a list of goals for 2011 and, as I said then, I fully expected it to change in some way and it has.  Knowing myself as I do, it is a safe bet to guess that it will change yet again.  This is part of the beauty of lists...I can perform a proverbial brain dump and then when I remember something else - or come up with something entirely new - I can just add it on.  So the first order of business is to update my original list of 25 to become a list of 30.

1. Knit something for each of my children to wear.
2. Plant a vegetable garden this spring/summer.
3. Plant a butterfly garden.
4. Complete my Virginia Master Naturalist certification.
5. Run a 10K in under one hour.
6. Grow seedlings for a portion of the vegetable garden.
7. Scrapbook regularly – paper or electronic (once a month?).
8. Put my craft room into working order.
9. Purge, purge, purge!
10. Write letters via snail mail to my friends and loved ones (once a week?).
11. Teach the big kids to knit.
12. Learn how to sew using my sewing machine.
13. Spend time delving into family history and combining documentation from my family and my husband’s family.
14. Partner with the local elementary school to share environmental education opportunities with the students.
15. Incorporate more handmade gifts into our family and holiday celebrations.
16. Plan ahead and sign the kids up for summer camps that allow them to explore their passions and new things.
17. Create a family mission statement.
18. Volunteer as a family.
19. Explore museums and historical sites around town.
20. Shop at local farmers’ markets regularly throughout the spring and summer.
21. Start nature journaling.
22. Go geocaching and create a local cache.
23. Have our backyard certified as a NWF Certified Wildlife Habitat.
24. Go to the theater with the kids.
25. Train for and participate in my first triathlon.
26. Explore traditional methods of food preservation and learn to can.
27. Make pasta from scratch.
28. Get registered on the Direct Mail "do not mail" list.
29. Actively manage retirement accounts and investments.
30. Update will and estate plan.

Although I hadn't put any of this down on a formal list until I prepared last week's post, these are things that have been rattling around in my mind for some time and I have already taken steps in 2011 to meet some of these goals.  For the purpose of this blog, though, I will resist the temptation to check things off immediately (perhaps my fellow list makers out there can commiserate with the urge to add something to a list that has already been completed just to be able to check it off).  Instead, I will share progress as I make it and give a full report out at the end of the year.

So what progress have I made since last week?


Goal #4 - Prior to last week's goal post I had already met the basic and advanced training requirements for my Virginia Master Naturalist certification.  I had also completed about half of my volunteer requirement (40 hours annually).  I have started preparing a project proposal that, if approved by my chapter, will allow me to receive volunteer hours for my time spent working on goal #14.


Goal #14 - Earlier in the week I met with one of the fifth grade science teachers at my children's elementary school who is very enthusiastic about providing environmental learning opportunities for his students.  He has been awarded two grants this school year to purchase equipment in order to provide students with a meaningful watershed experience.  Later this month I will be supporting his efforts by wading out into the Chickahominy River with students to test water quality.  Hopefully this will just be a starting point and other opportunities will develop.


Goal #9 - The purge is on!  Between cleaning out my master closet and wardrobe as part of Simple Mom's Project Simplify and passing along part of my vintage Pyrex collection through a giveaway on this blog, I have made solid progress on decluttering during the past week.


Goal #16 - On Monday evening I attended a session offered by the county regarding summer enrichment opportunities.  This gave me some additional ideas for camps and other programs that the kids might enjoy this summer.  Next up...actually registering before things fill up.


Goal #19 - To help celebrate my birthday a little bit early, my Mom drove into town and took me out sans kids.  We visited the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts where we ate lunch at Amuse and visited the Pablo Picasso exhibit.  It was an incredible day and I was so very lucky to spend it in the company of my mother.

Mom and I after a great day at the VMFA.

All in all, good progress so far, though I've got a big task ahead of me between now and Friday to unleash my vengeance on hot spot #2.