I cheated and showed a movie at book club

As I make a deliberate effort to simplify my life so that I can make space - both literal and figurative - for the things that are most important to me, I know without hesitation that one activity will never make it to the chopping block...my book club.  As I've mentioned before, I absolutely love to read.  Not long after IronMan and I got married twelve years ago, I asked a couple of coworkers if they would be interested in starting a book club.  As luck would have it, one of them had been asked to join a new group that was to meet the next month for the very first time and she invited me along.  We met that first time at a big box book store to discuss Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen.  We have met every month since then for 11 years.  While only a few of us have been in the group for that entire time, we have a good mix of long-timers and newcomers.  We range in age from our mid-20s to 40-somethings.  Some of us are single professionals and others are married stay-at-home mothers (with a variety of other situations in between). In our years of reading and meeting together there have been marriages, divorces, babies, new jobs, and lives full of twists and turns.  This community of women is one that I deeply treasure.

As our book club has matured (like fine wine, that is!), we have settled into a format that seems to work for us.  Each month a different member volunteers to host at their house and whomever is that month's hostess chooses the book.  We have read a tremendously eclectic selection of books over the years.  The last time that I hosted was in January of this year and I chose The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley.  This is one of my all time favorite books.  Bradley tells the story of the legend of King Arthur and Camelot from the perspective of the women central to the story (in Bradley's retelling it is not surprising to find that "minor" female figures played critical roles from behind the scenes).  This book is quite long and that is part of why I chose to host in January - we don't read a book for our December get together (it is purely social), so I announced this selection in November to give folks two months to read.  But I digress...I tend to do that when talking about books.

When I volunteered to host this month's book club, I decided to select Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte.  I read it many years ago and was just recently reintroduced to it by a dear friend - and fellow book club member - who discovered a passion for the book after seeing Cary Fukunaga's film adaptation in the earlier this year. Luckily for me, because I missed it in the theater, it was released on DVD earlier this month.  I decided to change things up a little bit - summer seems a good time to do so - by incorporating a movie viewing into our evening.  I channeled a bit of my Harry Potter movie viewing geekiness into this get together as well by breaking out some English bone china tea cups and serving nettle tea (a delicious tea I learned about from a British nutritionist), scones, English and Irish cheeses, and an Americanized version of cucumber sandwiches.

English bone china tea cups and saucers collected by my grandmother and great-grandmother 

Two of the four British cheeses served

Wine from my favorite Virginia winery was a must, even if I am completely unable to use the fancy bottle opener (IronMan rolls his eyes in amused exasperation every time I make a mess of it...I've had the better part of a decade to figure this out and I'm just about to give up on it).

Scones...yum!  I "cheated" on these, too, and bought them at Panera instead of baking some.

My two favorite film adaptations of the book - we watched the one on the right (the BBC version on the left is 4 hours long...just a bit much for a week night, don't you think?)

It was wonderful to spend an evening in fellowship with the incredible women who make up my book club and to have the chance to discuss such a strong female character as Jane.  If you haven't read it lately - or at all - I encourage you to make a trip to your local library and pick up a copy today.

Happy Tuesday and - always - happy reading, friends!


"I see genuine contentment in your gait and mien, your eye and face, when you are helping me and pleasing me - work for me, and with me, in, as you characteristically say, 'all that is right:' for if I bid you do what you thought wrong, there would be no light-footed running, no neat-handed alacrity, no lively glance and animated complexion.  My friend would then turn to me, quite and pale, and would say, 'No, sire; that is impossible: I cannot do it, because it is wrong;' and would become immutable as a fixed star.  Well, you too have power over me, and may injure me: yet I dare not show you where I am vulnerable, lest, faithful and friendly as you are, you should transfix me at once."  ~Edward Rochester to Jane Eyre

Geeking out Harry Potter style (no kids allowed!)

I have been a huge fan of JK Rowling's Harry Potter series since reading the first book more than a decade ago after my mother-in-law, who was then teaching fifth grade, recommended it.  I eagerly read each new book as they were published and once even attended a midnight release party.  Running Man also enjoyed the books and he mostly listened to them as books on tape/CD while traveling or, on one memorable trip from Virginia to upstate New York and back with an infant E2B in the backseat, with me reading aloud.  Running Man and I have also gone to see each of the movies in the theater.

More recently E2B and I have been working our way through the first three books as read alouds at bedtime and I honestly don't know who has been enjoying that experience more...me or him.  E2B went back and re-read the first two books after we finished them and even read the third book on his own despite the fact that we're only about halfway through it together.  It thrills me that he still wants me to continue reading it to him despite already knowing what is coming.  We will stop after the third book for a few years because I feel that the themes and action become too mature for him after that point.  (Does anyone out there have any suggestions for what to read with a soon-to-be eight year old who loves the world of Harry Potter?)  After finishing each of the first two books, we also watched the movies together...yes, I'm one of those parents who insists that my kids read the book before seeing the movie.  I find it magical (pun intended) that a whole generation of children has grown up with these books and that stories abound about kids who don't normally read for pleasure quite simply devouring Harry's adventures.

But enough about kids and Harry Potter...what about us adults?  Several of my neighbors are also big HP fans and with the release of the final movie - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 - coming up next week, we decided to hold our own viewing party of the previous movie (HP and the Deathly Hallows part 1).  It was ridiculously difficult to find a night that would work for everyone between vacation schedules, our partners' travel schedules, children's activities, our own commitments, etcetera - such is the life of the mothers of young children, right?  As a result we ended up on a weeknight with a smaller crew than we initially anticipated, but the level of fun - and Harry Potter love geekiness - remained high.  Interestingly, but I suppose not surprisingly, each of us had at least one child who struggled to understand why mom was going to watch Harry Potter and they were not invited.

But onto the big night.  What would a movie viewing be without some refreshments?  First up, some yummy golden snitches.  The inspiration for these fun treats was snazzify over on Squidoo - check out the amazing candy and baked goods she made for her Harry Potter event (if mine had been a party for kids, I would have made that dragon snot punch, for sure).

As an added benefit to making these snitches, they made great treats to take home to everyone's children (my kids were also very excited to help make them).

Next up - and certainly quicker to serve up than the golden snitches - were Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.  I opted for regular ol' jelly beans because, really, who wants to worry about biting into something flavored like ear wax, vomit, or dragon bogies?  I leave that to younger fans!

I added some of my favorite British cheese to the menu and then whipped up some cold butterbeer.  There are a slew of butterbeer recipes available on the Internet and many of them are to be served warm.  Some are non-alcoholic and some are for adults only.  I chose this recipe because it was a) cold - perfect for a hot summer night and b) super easy to make.  I didn't want to make a large batch, but preferred to make one drink at a time so I adapted the recipe a very little bit.  I found that one can of cream soda mixed with 1/4 cup butterscotch schnapps was just right.  We worried that it might turn out to be too sweet, but it was surprisingly delicious and the sweetness was not overwhelming.

A quick, easy, and fun spread for celebrating some Harry Potter love.

I am getting ready to re-read the seventh, and last, book in the Harry Potter series before seeing the final movie.  This week's get together was a great way to get the proverbial party started in preparation for next weekend.  In the meantime, I'll ride the wave of my post-HP geek out and get reading.


"He couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: 'To Harry Potter - the boy who lived!'"  ~from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Weekending

This weekend was full...full of soccer games, full of meetings (for me), full of training (for Running Man) and - thankfully - full of time with friends.  On Saturday evening we joined some dear friends at their home for an impromptu birthday celebration along with four other families.  In addition to all of the adults present, there were about a dozen kids running about.  We had a wonderful time full of delicious food and great conversation.  One of my favorite moments of the night was when the children decided to perform on a variety of instruments for the adults...we heard pieces played on the violin, the cello, and the piano.  Enthusiastic Explorer Boy (E2B) and Princess Wonder both take piano lessons, but they were enthralled by the violin and I have a sneaking suspicion that they'll be lobbying for learning a stringed instrument sometime in the future.

Earlier this afternoon, while Running Man was on a long bike ride followed by a run, the kids and I went to a lunch gathering with some folks from church. The weather today was beautiful and it was the perfect time to spend in fellowship with people that I don't usually get the chance to talk with in depth.  Often my conversations with folks at church take place while I am simultaneously trying to round up my kids after the service and make sure that they don't overrun the food table.  It was a real treat for me to enjoy adult conversation in a laid back environment while the kids played happily nearby (and wore out the hosts' dogs in the process).

And, of course, with the beautiful weather our neighbors were out in force and there were plenty of kids - and adults! - to hang out and play with until it was time to call it a night and come in for dinner.  But one of my favorite moments of the weekend was much quieter than the others.  During our afternoon "quiet time" (something that is as much for my benefit as the children's), E2B and I decided to read our separate books together outside on the front porch. Once out there, my sweet boy asked me to sit on the wicker couch with him so that we could cuddle while we read.  Why yes, I'd love to!

See those grass and dirt stains on his jeans?  That's the sign of a day well spent in my book!

All of our time spent as a family and with friends this weekend reminded me why it is that I'm on this path towards living with greater intention.  These are the sorts of experiences that I want to cultivate and how I want to be spending my time.  I hope that you, too, enjoyed a weekend full of fellowship and good friends!


"But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine."  ~Thomas Jefferson

How To Live Unintentionally

As I work towards approaching my days with greater intention, I have to examine what it is that inhibits me from doing so.  Some days I feel invigorated and I greet the day with a great sense of purpose, a "can do" attitude, and the energy to make it all happen.  The best part about these days is that I feel more peaceful, I am more positive in my interactions with others, and I am able to handle bumps in my day with more grace.  Some days I find it hard to get anything accomplished and I indulge myself in activities and behavior that are counterproductive.  The worst thing about these days is not the outer chaos around me (though I am not a fan of having a messy house, dropping the proverbial ball on any number of commitments, running late, etc.), but rather the resulting inner chaos that seems to go hand in hand with the outer unrest.  It is these days when I have very little patience and I am more apt to take it out on the people around me - especially the kids.  Sure, everyone needs a day off now and then and I don't think that every day needs to be a veritable bastion of productivity.  However, I haven't gotten myself to where I am now by just taking the occasional mental health day.

So upon reflection, I have identified what I think are the four things that I do - sometimes on their own and sometimes together - that stop me from enjoying those great days more often.  This is how I live unintentionally.

1. Sleeping in
For me this means skipping my morning workout - something that I was very good about not doing until the last few weeks - and staying in bed until I have to get up to get the kids moving for school (with little to no time to spare).  It may also mean hitting snooze on my alarm repeatedly.  Often it means doing both of these things.  Not only do I feel better and more energized after a workout, but I know that the kids and I all have a better start to the day when we have had the time - because we are up earlier - to move slowly in the morning and, quite honestly, putz around doing a bit of nothing.

2.  Reading during the day
I absolutely love to read!  I enjoy reading books that teach and energize me.  I enjoy reading about different times and places.  I enjoy reading books that show me a slice of someone else's life.  And I admit to enjoying the occasional fluff book with no redeeming qualities other than its pure escapism and entertainment value.  It is usually this last category of books that gets me into trouble.  I can easily get sucked into a compelling story and all of a sudden I find that my day is gone.  Either that, or I stay up ridiculously late finishing up a book because I just have to know how it ends.

3. Spending time online
As Rachel over at Small Notebook discussed so ably in a recent post, it is easy to find ourselves in inspiration overload and I certainly have the need to protect my time from too many good ideas.  I find myself cruising the blogosphere and reading about all sorts of great things that I'd like to do - ideas about parenting, cool places to go, ideas about gardening, interesting activities, beautiful crafts to make, and more...oh so much more!  When I spend way more time planning great things to do rather than actually doing them, that is a problem.  Rachel has followed up her discussion about inspiration overload with a post about breaking up with old hobbies - it is well worth the read and I, for one, have some breaking up to do.

4. Procrastinating
Need I say more?

Numbers one, two, and three on this list can be great things.  Sleeping in occasionally is not only a treat, it is an important way to help me get much needed rest that often is lacking as the parent of young children.  Reading is tremendously enjoyable and is the primary way that I treat myself to something just for me (something that is important for everyone and absolutely necessary, I think, for anyone who spends most of their time taking care of the needs of other people).  Connecting with others through email, staying on top of world events, and finding inspiration in the blogosphere absolutely enhances my life.  But I find - for me - that these things are only good in moderation and I can have a hard time keeping myself in check.

As for number four on the list - this one is the most troublesome and often can be found skipping hand in hand with my other time wasters.  Sometimes I procrastinate because if I can't do something perfectly I don't want to do it at all.  Sometimes I procrastinate because I would simply rather do something else.  But procrastination really drags me down when it is a result of having so much to do that I don't know where to begin and I feel overwhelmed by the day ahead.  If I allow me to psych myself out, then I just end up making the situation worse by putting off until later what I should be doing right now.  For example - this week is a particularly busy one with a variety of commitments (more than usual) around here.  Today I started the day knowing that I had a lot that needed to be accomplished.  So how did I spend my morning?  Feeling overwhelmed, floating around the house getting a few small things done here and there, flipping through a book, and sitting like a lump in front of the computer in my pajamas.  Sure, I rallied eventually and got a lot done during the second half of the day.  But still, I could have accomplished more and I would have felt better about my day had I just taken baby steps this morning.

For now I'm going to sit with these four things and see where this awareness takes me.  There will certainly be more to share in the coming months.  In the meantime, what are your time wasters and how do you keep yourself on track during the day?


"The perfect is the enemy of the good."  ~Voltaire